I think God...
An essay + some other thoughts I believe.
This past year, belief has been very difficult. Believing in myself, believing in God, and everything that goes along with those two things. 1
However, I’m always writing, so I am sharing some of the roses in the wilderness of this past year. Here are some words I wrote and still believe:
I wrote this in March. A paper for my acting (for non-majors) class. We were told to write about the purpose of live storytelling (acting).
God created. Therefore we were created to create. He made the heavens and the earth. All the beauty. He also made us, and he maps out everyne of our stories. Knowing what will happen before we do. Therefore, if we were created in God’s image, aren’t we also created to create? To form something beautiful from the resources he has given us. Not just physical objects, but from our intellect, personality, and language. He created us, and our complexities after all, so may we steward them all.
So how do we steward our many gifts? Well one way is through the art of storytelling. Jesus’ main way of communicating was through storytelling. He used parables to illustrate His love and compassion, biblical truths, and model how to live. Jesus used storytelling and he created the entire Biblical narrative as well as every single individual narrative of our lives. He understands the stories are what connect us. They’re the best way for us to learn and connect. We can understand them the best.
Acting may seem at first glance like something trivial or flashy, but it is ultimately the art of storytelling. It’s different than writing because it’s live. You get to experience additional senses including sight and sound. Live productions and films have the power to captivate you. Movies sometimes leave me thinking for days, and the best ones you remember for years.
God knows stories have power. Again He’s pretty experienced.
The reason stories have this power is because of something called humanity. Humanity is defined as “compassionate, sympathetic, or generous behavior or disposition : the quality or state of being humane”(Merriam-Webster). It’s what defines us as human. It’s beautiful and hard and all-encompassing. The stories that hit us are the ones that have an element of humanity in them. Even if the story is about something that has never happened to you. Something you couldn’t imagine. It still makes you cry because you can sympathize with the character. You relate to their feelings even if you can’t to their circumstances. And aren’t our feelings what truly bind us? The experience, not the action?
When we listen to music even, the songs that hit us the deepest are the ones that melodically evoke emotion. Whether that be anger, sadness, or joy.
So why did God create stories? He could have just had us humans operate in a way that never changed. We could have been created to live in a constant cycle with no variation. But he chose to have us evolve. For new creation to form and for everyone to be unique. And he weaves these elements of us into everything. Ultimately writing his story. We have the Old Testament because it tells the story of Jesus before he was born. His bloodline was not random but distinct. Every part of it traced. Each story paving the way for the next story.
So, of course, live storytelling matters. It paints a beautiful picture of these stories written down. Jesus told live stories himself (parables). He didn’t just write them. He wanted everyone to be able to hear and understand. That is who He is. He’s a fully human God; therefore, he wants to relate to his human children.
Just as Jesus did, we can use stories to evangelize. They paint a picture and fill in the missing gaps about who God is. If God created our feelings and our humanity, then aren’t we experiencing him when we engage these aspects of ourselves? We are sharing in his pain or joys.
Everything about us is portrayed in live storytelling. That is the point of it. Therefore, when we practice and try to act, we are trying to step in and acknowledge a piece of us that God gave us. For example, if we are doing a comedic scene, we might have to act a fool or laugh. We get to experience and acknowledge the gift of experiencing this emotion. We get to acknowledge the joy of laughter and we get to create this joy! The same goes for a dramatic scene. Maybe we have to yell at the character beside us. This may be uncomfortable, but through the negative feelings, we acknowledge the lack of comfort and the fact that it’s a real emotion God gave us, and the feelings are ultimately telling us something- we were not created to live this way.
Are we created to live this way? With anger, and sadness, and judgment. They don’t feel nice. I don’t believe we were. But after the fall, shame came, anger came, and these emotions and their complexities became aspects of humanity. Think about that. “What makes us human” wasn’t what made us human before that fall. Before the fall what made us human, was the fact that we were created in Gods image. Then sin came into the picture and now our version of humanity is tainted by it.
So what is humanity supposed to be?
Us communing with each other. Eating together. Having children. Working. Love. Rest.
Not the broken version of these things that we now know.
On August 31, 2023. I wrote this.
I think God
I think God chooses us to say certain things.
Ordains us to create certain art.
To say certain things, to create certain things.
For a purpose bigger than ourselves.
To give Him glory.
Adding to his story, not ours.
We get to be apart of it.
We each have a part.
And will dance and sing
Forevermore
God I’m here.
Ready to play my part.
Whatever you have for me.
It will be grand.
It already is.
My part right now is the patient
But it’s so much more than that.
I’m still a daughter
Friend
Babysitter
Student
Child
Gods
We all have so many parts to play.
And my writing is not my own.
It might be my words, and thoughts, but it’s God’s work in me.
It’s His messages he has simply placed and revealed on my heart.
It’s all Him.
I’m just a sinner, who messes up.
Who he’s choosing to use anyway.
He will use you, too.
Without you even knowing it
Let him.
I know you can and you will.
I still believe these words. I hope you find some truth in them, too :)
- Bek
Song lyrics frequently come to my head that match my season. Thse lyrics from a Mumford and Sons song have been a consistent reminder in this season.
“And oh hold on to what you believe
In the light, when the darkness has robbed you of all your sight”
As of recently:
I’m back home for the Summer, attempting to “be where my feet are”.
Trying to pick back up on some projects that I had put to the side.
Enjoying catching up with old friends and embracing Columbia as my home for the summer.
Cut my hair! it was time for the undercut I’d developed from having neck surgery to go away. Plus change is freeing!
Learning to cook and that arugula can be tasty if you season it right.
Baby girl you are a inspiration to so many people mostly me. You just keep telling your story. Love ya Nana
Truly a testimony of life in His light, reflecting His grace and mercy to others. Thanks for sharing…